Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study reveals that two out of two couples riding the SkyTrain like to use their commute for a little QT [quality time].
In addition, the study proves that when they snuggle up it provides more room for single commuters.
In related news, if she’s shopping on her BlackBerry while you’re trying to ‘make some room’ with her, she’s just not that into you.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
All dance styles come from Africa or Mexico, according to a young commuter.
In related news, the dance connoisseur is currently listening to music that sounds like a duck quacking into an amplifier.
“Quack! Quack!” he demonstrated, emphatically.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you never have a runny [not stuffy, please note the distinction] nose on a SkyTrain or bus that reeks of body odor.
Namaste.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Top 5 things our on-scene reporter Kelle Shaunna hates about commuting via public transit [today]:
5) When fellow commuters stake out a spot by the door, blocking others from getting on or off the train/bus.
4) Delays due to mechanical [any] issues.
3) Getting stuck on the non-moving side of the escalator [if you don’t know what this means, count your blessings].
2) When fellow commuters start to make their way to the door through a crowded train car/bus, well ahead of their stop.
1) When the station smells like sh*t.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
The difference between a trim and a ‘fu*king chop’ is 2.5 inches, according to one commuter.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Ben asked his hairdresser, who was travelling with him, his fist tangled in his locks.
“Well, you had such split ends . . . ,” his hairdresser responded. “What!? Why are you all puffy?”
In related news, “Botox makes you look like a freak on one of those YouTube videos.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A UFO was sighted one block from the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain Station tonight.
The apparent anomaly in the sky was seen hovering over the intersection of West Georgia and Beatty streets around 5:00 p.m., PST.
Our photographer captured this image of the ginormous flying saucer.
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion File from the Evening Commute:
One should never wear her brand new booties on the trek to her transit station or stop.
Fashionable footwear are not made for walking long distances and they are certainly not made for walking those distances at a fast pace, especially when late.
Further, they are not made for standing in a crowded car on a delayed train stuck on the tracks.
Now, here’s what’s trending:
#It’sNotEasyBeingBeautiful
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
There is a need for more or longer SkyTrains servicing the Vancouver area, according to an elderly commuter in a crowded train car this evening.
“[But] we have Mickey Mouse leadership,” he said, blaming the lack of service on a government.
“[The train car] must be a pervert’s paradise,” he added, to a young lady who was squished between himself and a plexiglass partition.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study reveals that if a man proclaims loudly, on a busy SkyTrain, that he may still have “sperm” on his hands from the night before and then wonders out loud “what the strangers think of that” – he is an idiot.
That same study also reveals that if that same man then asks his traveling companion for a “smoochie smooch” – he is definitely an idiot.
Tales from the Transit Line
Public Service Announcement:
Have you ever had to walk to your bus or train stop – or even all the way to work, in the rain!?
Was it windy and did your cheap umbrella break?
Did you finally get on your mode of transit or into your office and did it smell like mothballs?
We’ve all had one of those mornings, and now we all have access to the Cure for the Commuter Blues (CCB)
Our CCB T-shirts will allow you to express yourself so that you don’t bottle up your rage and end up hitting the bottle – or worse.
Tell the world how you feel and say what you want to say without saying a word.
Here are a few samples of our most popular CCB T-shirts:
– Fu*k you, you fu*king fu*k.
– Are you fu*king kidding me!?
– You fu*king stink! No, really, you smell bad.
– I’m going to fu*cking kill somebody! [On the back] Not really, I’m just super mad.
For a full list of T-shirts available or to place your order today, visit www.ILoveThisShi(r)t.com.
Tales from the Transit Line 