Tales from the Transit Line
Curse from the Evening Commute:
If you are the kind of girl who wears stilettos and carries a four-hundred-dollar purse and can’t be bothered to move into the ’empty’ space in a busy train car at rush hour when people try to get by you, I hope a dirty, smelly man decides to push his way onto the train, anyways – right up against you.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
On their way to buy a new video game, two commuters who couldn’t possibly have even been born in 1987, excitedly chatted about the remake of a movie made almost three decades ago.
“They’re making a new RoboCop,” said the one who keeps Kraft Dinner in his storage locker. “I’m going to see that. That’s old school,” he added.
“I’ve seen the first one,” said his traveling partner, “it has black guys in it,” he noted, while pointing out a place the two could get “free potatoes and shit.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
If you just can’t get enough of that old train car smell or the back of the bus stench on a hot day – you are in luck.
Translink is rumored to soon be releasing a line of scents for the commuter and the cologne connoisseur, alike.
Featured fragrances are rumored to include, aroma body odeur, eau de farts, and the highly anticipated essence de garlic sausage.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A phrase has been coined by a commuter, that is expected to be added to the urban lexicon.
“That’s so bus driver,” can be used to describe someone who is being especially rude or discourteous.
“It’s like, when someone cuts in front of you in line or they take the last donut in the box – ‘that’s so bus driver’,” explained a TFTTL reporter.
The new phrase is predicted to be especially popular among everyone.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
What was once a few small steps for commuters, has lead to one giant leap for Translink.
The BC transportation authority has accepted an RFP from The Man in the Moon contracting firm to fix the up escalator at the Commercial-Broadway SkyTrain station.
The fixture has been out of order since May. When asked via Twitter by a TFTTL reporter why it was taking so long to fix it, a Translink spokesperson noted they were waiting for parts to arrive.
Since the average distance from Earth to the Moon is 384,400 km (238,900 mi), it is expected the escalator will be fixed by Christmas – that is, according to our calculations.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
It may only be Thursday, but it’s Friday somewhere for this crocked commuter and his traveling companion who both share a love, in addition to their love of Budweiser.
“I fu*king love digging holes,” said this man’s drinking buddy.
“Yeah,” he agreed, tipping the King of Beers in solidarity.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A hip commuter was momentarily frustrated this evening when he couldn’t fit a recent purchase into his Gucci murse.
His hands were already full, one with the new Blackberry 10 and one with a Samsung Galaxy, but the fashionably ambidextrous young traveller made it work.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
Readers Poll:
Should our on-scene reporter reveal to this brave commuter leaving the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain Station, the nearby sidewalk spaces humans use to vacate their bowls in this neighborhood?
Yes or no?
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A cotton-candy eating commuter was mistakenly valued as worth his weight in gold this evening, before it was revealed that he was not carrying valuable Au nuggets in his ear, but that it was just wax.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
It was a busy weekend for one young commuter.
The red-head jeune fille spent Friday night with a guy-friend whose cat just died.
The 13-year-old feline’s death was apparently so devastating, the owner didn’t tell anyone about it for two weeks.
Saturday was spent at a party with some ‘old’ high-school friends and on Sunday she watched an entire season of Nurse Jackie – and somewhere in between she wrote notes for her study group.
In other news, her friend Daniel, who she has known since Grade 2, is apparently in love with her.
“How did I not know that,” she mused to her confident commuter, rhetorically resolving with a shrug “oh well, it happens.”
Tales from the Transit Line 