Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion File from the Morning Commute:
It may or may not have been a good night for this particular morning commuter, who either partied his shirt off or lost it, when he pried himself from a ‘trap’ upon waking.
Still, he manages to pull off the Slash-look, easily, even in spite of his state of consciousness.
The jungle apparently brought him to his kn-n-n-n-nees.
#Saveahorseridethetrain
Tales from the Transit Line
Curse from the Evening Commute:
To the young, able-bodied man who snuck his way into the last seat on the train and then promptly stared at his phone, while a pregnant woman stood in front of him – may you trip upon disembarking, on your undone shoelace, sending your iPhone 6 Plus sailing into the air, landing squarely on the track, where it is then promptly run over by the next train – your iPhone, that is . . .
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A young man, riding the rails with a couple of friends this afternoon, confessed why a girl was caught grasping his penis.
“It was either you guys all see my junk or I stick it in Taylor’s hand,” he explained, seriously shy.
In possibly related news, the group of guys also discussed the issue of animal cruelty.
“You never hurt an animal,” said the modest man, “unless it’s a beautiful little kitten, then you hang it with a tie.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A man tried to catch up with his girlfriend during their evening commute, while talking about a little of this and a little of that.
“How come you’re so quiet?”
“Did you miss me?”
“Was I squishing you last night,” he asked her in between smothering kisses.
She murmured her responses, moodily.
He changed the subject to try and cheer her up.
“I played a game today, you should play. I played it all day at work,” he said.
“It’s called Depression Quest.”
The girl looked away, absently.
“It’s about this depressed person who has to make decisions,” he tried to explain.
“And I didn’t die, so … ,” it was clear he’d lost her, but he wasn’t about to give up.
“You know you start school on Monday, hey?” he said, referencing the expected end to recent job action by British Columbia public school teachers, that has left provincial elementary schools and high schools closed since June.
His gal smushed up her face, even more dismayed, it appeared, at the prospect of going back to class.
Sensing some distress, the man then offered to take the girl in, “you could move into my apartment and live with me for free,” he offered, hurriedly, before the two carried on in hushed tones, interrupted only by the smacking of lips.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
If you learn French, “any government job you want, you got,” said a commuter who seemed proficient in a wide range of fields.
Hypothyroidism, is very high in the Asian population, he added, noting 70 per cent of Asian women get it when they have a baby.
A proud hubby, the man also noted his wife recently got into ‘coast guard school’ on the East Coast, where he has since bought a farm, upon selling his Vancouver condo.
While showing strangers a photo of his bride on his cellphone, he explained that he had both kneecaps torn off in a motorcycle accident.
When he dies, this Renaissance commuter said his tombstone will say, simply: “He lived.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you have a smooth ride, if you must apply your eyebrows on your morning commute, so you don’t look mad … or surprised, maybe … all day.
Namaste.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A large cat was seen taking public transit in Vancouver today, but unlike its similarly-sized cousins – lions and tigers, the animal appeared to be domesticated.
The nearly six-feet-tall feline, who also sported a mustache and strawberry-red hair on his head, was reading the newspaper and walking upright.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Although it has had annual revenues hover the billion dollar mark and it operates approximately 201 stores around the world – not everyone knows about Lululemon Athletica.
A young commuter, on his way through downtown Vancouver, the West Coast city where the yoga-inspired athletic apparel company is based, today, admitted that he was one of them.
“I don’t know what ‘lululemon’ means,” he said.
When offered an explanation, he added, unconvinced, “I haven’t seen or heard of it. It could mean a lot of things.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A couple of young ladies taking transit on a Friday afternoon, aren’t expecting a friend to make the junior girls’ national roller derby team.
One of them even admitted her own likely inability to make the team, which does not exist, even though she hadn’t been invited to try out.
“I have a tendency of vastly underestimating my skills,” she told the girl with ‘nice’ eyeshadow.
“Some people do that,” noted the friend.
“No, it’s because I’m a genius,” explained the smart straphanger, knowingly.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Nine out of 10 male TransLink transit police officers are single, according to recent study.
The first annual Valentine’s Day survey revealed the majority of transit officers were busy expressing their sexual frustration by harassing commuters, instead of spreading the love on this special day.
Researchers admit, however, the survey results may be somewhat inconclusive and could also mean the discovery of a new pick-up line: “Show me your pass.”
#nowonderyouresingle
Tales from the Transit Line 