Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute
Good news for anyone hoping to eliminate their debt in 2013.
Liquid gold is now being accepted by creditors. Oil? No, tears.
According to a SkyTrain passenger tonight, a woman ‘ate’ a $300 debt owed to her by a man because “he cried.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Researchers have discovered a new way to tell if a woman is pregnant, according to two Translink commuters.
“How did you know,” asked the first expert, surprised by the news that a mutual friend was expecting.
“I know she has a personal trainer,” replied her conspiratorial colleague, “so when I saw she was gaining weight, I just knew.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Weather Advisory from the Evening Commute:
A cold westerly wind blowing in off the Pacific Ocean is forcing heavy rains to fall sideways this evening.
Commuters who have long walks between transit stations are advised to take a taxi.
And now, a message from our [not really] sponsors:
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Contrary to popular drunk-dialer/texter belief, it’s uncool to be a fool in love with an ex while intoxicated.
“It’s so immature,” said one female commuter about affairs of the alcoholic heart.
“I never think about my ex-boyfriend,” she added, “especially when I’m drunk.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
SkyTrain cars are the ideal backdrop for photo shoots, according to three dapper commuters.
[Click] “OK, it’s on my Instagram,” said the one in the red jacket wearing matching lipstick, after capturing an image of the other two.
“Profile pic!” chimed his friends.
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion Files from the Evening Commute:
XY
If you are a man and you come across a blazer with a belt that loops around the upper abdomen area, do not buy it. In fact, do not, under any circumstances, even try it on.
XX
Ladies, no matter what, never where black and white cowhide Uggs. In fact, just don’t ever wear Uggs.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
An enterprising young commuter on the Millennium Line, this morning, has proved that if one sits and twists a Rubik’s Cube in different directions for 18 minutes, without looking at it, absolutely nothing will happen.
In unrelated news, we would like to wish all of our loyal readers and critics, a very happy New Year!
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Santa was spotted on a SkyTrain in the Vancouver area tonight.
The Man in Red was incognito, apparently watching to see if commuters were being naughty or nice.
With just a few days before the big day, however, he appeared to be taking it easy, toting a plastic bag with a sixer in it, instead of his usual sack of toys.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
A woman’s animal instincts kicked in this morning, as she marked her territory in a Translink train car.
The woman splashed kisses and rubbed herself all over a pigeon-toed man wearing women’s jeans and a black leather jacket.
“It was all very unnecessary,” reported our on-scene correspondent, who now, incidentally, is seeking treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
Breaking News!
It snowed and the Greater Vancouver Area is being evacuated via public transit.
Wait! We are receiving an emergency transmission from our correspondent on the line . . .
Oh . . . Correction, it’s just rush hour and there are only four cars per train . . .
Tales from the Transit Line 