Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

Although it has had annual revenues hover the billion dollar mark and it operates approximately 201 stores around the world – not everyone knows about Lululemon Athletica.

A young commuter, on his way through downtown Vancouver, the West Coast city where the yoga-inspired athletic apparel company is based, today, admitted that he was one of them.

“I don’t know what ‘lululemon’ means,” he said.

When offered an explanation, he added, unconvinced, “I haven’t seen or heard of it. It could mean a lot of things.”

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Tales from the Transit Line

Blessing from the Morning Commute:

On a cold, rainy day, may you always get a seat next to the heater, while you ride the bus. And may it not get turned off halfway through your commute.

Namaste.

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Tales from the Transit Line

Fashion File from the Morning Commute:

Cannibal clothes were spotted on a Vancouver-bound SkyTrain this morning.

The gnarly tights were paired appropriately with moccasins and a misspelled finger tattoo.

But, hey, whatever, you’ve got to be ‘craz’ to wear leggings that want to eat someone, anyways.

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Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Morning Commute:

Commuters on the Millenium Line broke a world record this morning.

Two separate straphangers in one SkyTrain car apologized for two unconnected commuting etiquette infractions.

Slumped in his seat, a bearded man in a baseball cap and hoodie, stretched out the kinks leftover from slumber, a state, it appeared, he had only recently left.

One of his legs shot out under the seat in front of him and he kicked a fellow passenger.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, sleepily.

Only moments later, just a few rows away, a 30-something, presumably on her way to work, got up at a stop and stepped in front of another commuter in the process of disembarking from the busy train car.

Sluggishly recognizing her slight, in an obviously pre-caffeine haze, she said “sorry,” and paused to let the other person pass.

A witness is expected to submit a record application to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

A couple of young ladies taking transit on a Friday afternoon, aren’t expecting a friend to make the junior girls’ national roller derby team.

One of them even admitted her own likely inability to make the team, which does not exist, even though she hadn’t been invited to try out.

“I have a tendency of vastly underestimating my skills,” she told the girl with ‘nice’ eyeshadow.

“Some people do that,” noted the friend.

“No, it’s because I’m a genius,” explained the smart straphanger, knowingly.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

Nine out of 10 male TransLink transit police officers are single, according to recent study.

The first annual Valentine’s Day survey revealed the majority of transit officers were busy expressing their sexual frustration by harassing commuters, instead of spreading the love on this special day.

Researchers admit, however, the survey results may be somewhat inconclusive and could also mean the discovery of a new pick-up line: “Show me your pass.”

#nowonderyouresingle

Tales from the Transit Line

Blessing from the Morning Commute:

May you never be shorter than the old, overweight, out-of-breath man standing over you, in a crowded train car.

Namaste.