Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A UFO was sighted one block from the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain Station tonight.
The apparent anomaly in the sky was seen hovering over the intersection of West Georgia and Beatty streets around 5:00 p.m., PST.
Our photographer captured this image of the ginormous flying saucer.
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion File from the Evening Commute:
One should never wear her brand new booties on the trek to her transit station or stop.
Fashionable footwear are not made for walking long distances and they are certainly not made for walking those distances at a fast pace, especially when late.
Further, they are not made for standing in a crowded car on a delayed train stuck on the tracks.
Now, here’s what’s trending:
#It’sNotEasyBeingBeautiful
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
There is a need for more or longer SkyTrains servicing the Vancouver area, according to an elderly commuter in a crowded train car this evening.
“[But] we have Mickey Mouse leadership,” he said, blaming the lack of service on a government.
“[The train car] must be a pervert’s paradise,” he added, to a young lady who was squished between himself and a plexiglass partition.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study reveals that if a man proclaims loudly, on a busy SkyTrain, that he may still have “sperm” on his hands from the night before and then wonders out loud “what the strangers think of that” – he is an idiot.
That same study also reveals that if that same man then asks his traveling companion for a “smoochie smooch” – he is definitely an idiot.
Tales from the Transit Line
Eyewitness News from the Evening Commute:
A man gets on the bus at East Hastings and Main. He’s carrying a large black, lumpy garbage bag that clearly does not contain empty cans or bottles.
He is obviously in a hurry as he mutters “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” to the bus driver when he approaches yellow lights.
At one point, the man with the bag pulls out an orange spray bottle and sprays an odorless substance on his shoes.
His nails are black and appear as though he’s been digging in the dirt with his bare hands.
His head is shaven, but not cleanly.
He gets off the bus at Hastings and Cassiar, near the highway.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
Vancouver commuters are still reeling from the threat of a natural disaster today, after a 7.7 magnitude earthquake hit the West Coast off the Haida Gwaii islands on Saturday night.
“Do you think a tsunami could hit SFU [Simon Fraser University],” a young man asked his friend at a mountain-top university bus stop early Monday.
His friend shrugged.
“Well, there are bears here,” the first young man added.
In unrelated news, in case anyone missed this news flash 20 years ago, we are repeating it here, today, as a public service announcement: Wearing half a bottle of CK One is no longer fashionable.
On a related note, brushing your teeth is.
Tales from the Transit Line
Public Service Announcement:
Have you ever had to walk to your bus or train stop – or even all the way to work, in the rain!?
Was it windy and did your cheap umbrella break?
Did you finally get on your mode of transit or into your office and did it smell like mothballs?
We’ve all had one of those mornings, and now we all have access to the Cure for the Commuter Blues (CCB)
Our CCB T-shirts will allow you to express yourself so that you don’t bottle up your rage and end up hitting the bottle – or worse.
Tell the world how you feel and say what you want to say without saying a word.
Here are a few samples of our most popular CCB T-shirts:
– Fu*k you, you fu*king fu*k.
– Are you fu*king kidding me!?
– You fu*king stink! No, really, you smell bad.
– I’m going to fu*cking kill somebody! [On the back] Not really, I’m just super mad.
For a full list of T-shirts available or to place your order today, visit www.ILoveThisShi(r)t.com.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
This morning a man walked through a crowd of commuters leaving the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain station asking: “You people want me to get out of this fu*king city, don’t you?”
Commuters, who are like zombies that have brains, however, did not respond to his loud inquiry.
“No one even blinked,” said our on-scene reporter Kelle Shaunna, noting commuters are used to walking against resistance. “I can tell you, however, that although it appeared we did not notice him, we did, and we were all thinking: ‘Yes, get the fu*k out.'”
The man’s whereabouts are now unknown, but he is believed to be still wandering around downtown asking others the same question.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study has shown that if you pace frantically on the SkyTrain platform and then pull your own hair, while smiling happily – you will never be crowded on a busy train at rush hour.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
According to a commuter with a new piercing in her face, “if you put makeup on an open wound, it will get infected.”
Tales from the Transit Line 