Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Although it has long been a recognized snack meat, a recent study reveals that one should never have a nibble (or a gobble) of garlic sausage before taking public transit.
Doing so has been found to be hazardous to the health of fellow commuters.
Tales from the Transit Line
Final Edition from the Evening Commute:
There is a guy who gets shoes for next to nothing.
“He must be a good deal finder,” said one late night commuter.
“No, he’s just cheap,” said another.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
This just in: The mystery of what those ‘weird’ noises were, coming from ‘her’ bathroom, has been solved.
“Oh, that was her fish tank wallpaper,” reported an anonymous source.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you never be on the front line of the transit platform after four full trains have passed by and the mass of impatient commuters that has since gathered behind you, starts to get pushy.
Nameste.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Across MacDonald [Street?] and down an alleyway there’s a party tonight, according to some guy who still has to ‘go home, get changed, smoke a doobie, have a beer, and [other] sh*t like that.’
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study reveals that two out of two couples riding the SkyTrain like to use their commute for a little QT [quality time].
In addition, the study proves that when they snuggle up it provides more room for single commuters.
In related news, if she’s shopping on her BlackBerry while you’re trying to ‘make some room’ with her, she’s just not that into you.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
All dance styles come from Africa or Mexico, according to a young commuter.
In related news, the dance connoisseur is currently listening to music that sounds like a duck quacking into an amplifier.
“Quack! Quack!” he demonstrated, emphatically.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you never have a runny [not stuffy, please note the distinction] nose on a SkyTrain or bus that reeks of body odor.
Namaste.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Top 5 things our on-scene reporter Kelle Shaunna hates about commuting via public transit [today]:
5) When fellow commuters stake out a spot by the door, blocking others from getting on or off the train/bus.
4) Delays due to mechanical [any] issues.
3) Getting stuck on the non-moving side of the escalator [if you don’t know what this means, count your blessings].
2) When fellow commuters start to make their way to the door through a crowded train car/bus, well ahead of their stop.
1) When the station smells like sh*t.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
The difference between a trim and a ‘fu*king chop’ is 2.5 inches, according to one commuter.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Ben asked his hairdresser, who was travelling with him, his fist tangled in his locks.
“Well, you had such split ends . . . ,” his hairdresser responded. “What!? Why are you all puffy?”
In related news, “Botox makes you look like a freak on one of those YouTube videos.”
Tales from the Transit Line 