Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
Breaking News!
It snowed and the Greater Vancouver Area is being evacuated via public transit.
Wait! We are receiving an emergency transmission from our correspondent on the line . . .
Oh . . . Correction, it’s just rush hour and there are only four cars per train . . .
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Although it has long been a recognized snack meat, a recent study reveals that one should never have a nibble (or a gobble) of garlic sausage before taking public transit.
Doing so has been found to be hazardous to the health of fellow commuters.
Tales from the Transit Line
Final Edition from the Evening Commute:
There is a guy who gets shoes for next to nothing.
“He must be a good deal finder,” said one late night commuter.
“No, he’s just cheap,” said another.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
This just in: The mystery of what those ‘weird’ noises were, coming from ‘her’ bathroom, has been solved.
“Oh, that was her fish tank wallpaper,” reported an anonymous source.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you never be on the front line of the transit platform after four full trains have passed by and the mass of impatient commuters that has since gathered behind you, starts to get pushy.
Nameste.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Across MacDonald [Street?] and down an alleyway there’s a party tonight, according to some guy who still has to ‘go home, get changed, smoke a doobie, have a beer, and [other] sh*t like that.’
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Gone are the days of boom-boxes, here are the days of rocking as hard as your smart phone will allow.
“Everyone on the SkyTrain is so lucky,” noted an urban adolescent commuter this evening, after his cell died.
Seconds before making this proclamation, he was dancing and singing along to Matisyahu’s Sunshine, which he blasted from the device.
Lamenting the loss, he sang a few versus a capella, spit – intentionally – on his own shoe, and then remarked to his friend that he had read on Wikipedia that Matisyahu was Jewish.
“Ya, ‘Matisyahu’ is Hebrew,” said his friend.
“Matisyahu’s Hebrew?” the first young man responded.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A study reveals that two out of two couples riding the SkyTrain like to use their commute for a little QT [quality time].
In addition, the study proves that when they snuggle up it provides more room for single commuters.
In related news, if she’s shopping on her BlackBerry while you’re trying to ‘make some room’ with her, she’s just not that into you.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
All dance styles come from Africa or Mexico, according to a young commuter.
In related news, the dance connoisseur is currently listening to music that sounds like a duck quacking into an amplifier.
“Quack! Quack!” he demonstrated, emphatically.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Morning Commute:
May you never have a runny [not stuffy, please note the distinction] nose on a SkyTrain or bus that reeks of body odor.
Namaste.
Tales from the Transit Line 