Posts Tagged ‘SkyTrain’

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Morning Commute:

This morning a man walked through a crowd of commuters leaving the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain station asking: “You people want me to get out of this fu*king city, don’t you?”

Commuters, who are like zombies that have brains, however, did not respond to his loud inquiry.

“No one even blinked,” said our on-scene reporter Kelle Shaunna, noting commuters are used to walking against resistance. “I can tell you, however, that although it appeared we did not notice him, we did, and we were all thinking: ‘Yes, get the fu*k out.'”

The man’s whereabouts are now unknown, but he is believed to be still wandering around downtown asking others the same question.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

A study has shown that if you pace frantically on the SkyTrain platform and then pull your own hair, while smiling happily – you will never be crowded on a busy train at rush hour.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

According to a commuter with a new piercing in her face, “if you put makeup on an open wound, it will get infected.”

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

Ben with the super big Adam’s apple, who is kind of shy and quiet and not rowdy, can go to a tall cherry-haired young commuter’s party this weekend.

So can Connor and Jesse, because she misses ‘drinking with them’, but she won’t talk to Jesse.

No Grade 12s can go, but some people her friend knows from middle school are invited.

Christine is going, although the commuter ‘hates her.’

In related news, she’s going home right now to dye her hair.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Morning Commute:

Today is We Day and 20,000 kids will make their way downtown this morning to attend related festivities.

In other news, if you think you’re taking transit downtown this morning – you are not.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

The most “unsettling feature” one commuter has seen on a person is someone who doesn’t blink.

“It’s unsettling, isn’t it!?” he said.

Tales from the Transit Line

Report from the Evening Commute:

A Gollum lookalike searched through contents of purse, that clearly did not belong to him, spread out the Stadium-Chinatown SkyTrain station platform. Not a transit police officer in sight.

In unrelated news, the Commercial-Broadway SkyTrain station platform was flooded with about a dozen transit police officers, checking riders for proof of purchase and issuing fare-evasion tickets.