Tales from the Transit Line
Curse from the Evening Commute:
If you are the kind of girl who wears stilettos and carries a four-hundred-dollar purse and can’t be bothered to move into the ’empty’ space in a busy train car at rush hour when people try to get by you, I hope a dirty, smelly man decides to push his way onto the train, anyways – right up against you.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
Commuter Chris Lemowski will soon be – it is very likely – the victim of identity theft, since he just announced to a crowded SkyTrain car his full name, phone number, birthday, PIN number and email address, while he loudly set up a payment arrangement for Feb. 1 on his cellphone.
“Sigh,” said a lady sitting two rows away from him.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
On their way to buy a new video game, two commuters who couldn’t possibly have even been born in 1987, excitedly chatted about the remake of a movie made almost three decades ago.
“They’re making a new RoboCop,” said the one who keeps Kraft Dinner in his storage locker. “I’m going to see that. That’s old school,” he added.
“I’ve seen the first one,” said his traveling partner, “it has black guys in it,” he noted, while pointing out a place the two could get “free potatoes and shit.”
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion Files from the Evening Commute:
If you are wearing camouflage for its designed purpose of concealment, you should not wear bright red pants with it – unless, of course, you are feeling festive and these are only things in your wardrobe in ‘Christmas’ colors.
#holidayfashion
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A young commuter on the Millenium Line tonight, better watch out. After taunting his younger companion until she started crying, he observed: “All you’re saying is ‘wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.'”
Then, after pretending he was a dog for a minute, he noted all he wanted for Christmas was his “two front teeth,” which he is certain to be missing when Santa Claus comes to town, if he keeps shouting into his sister’s face.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
According to a discerning consumer/commuter, you can’t do all of your grocery shopping at Costco.
“Their bananas are good, but their avocados suck.”
You can purchase water there too, but it’s better to get it at Save-On Foods, said the 28-year-old thirsty traveller.
“We had tap water growing up,” he noted, “but now my parents have splurged and I buy my own [too].”
Tales from the Transit Line
Curse from the Morning Commute:
If you bring your bike on the train at rush hour and park it in front of your seated self and three empty seats, may you get a flat tire of the next rainy day.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
If you just can’t get enough of that old train car smell or the back of the bus stench on a hot day – you are in luck.
Translink is rumored to soon be releasing a line of scents for the commuter and the cologne connoisseur, alike.
Featured fragrances are rumored to include, aroma body odeur, eau de farts, and the highly anticipated essence de garlic sausage.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
A phrase has been coined by a commuter, that is expected to be added to the urban lexicon.
“That’s so bus driver,” can be used to describe someone who is being especially rude or discourteous.
“It’s like, when someone cuts in front of you in line or they take the last donut in the box – ‘that’s so bus driver’,” explained a TFTTL reporter.
The new phrase is predicted to be especially popular among everyone.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
What was once a few small steps for commuters, has lead to one giant leap for Translink.
The BC transportation authority has accepted an RFP from The Man in the Moon contracting firm to fix the up escalator at the Commercial-Broadway SkyTrain station.
The fixture has been out of order since May. When asked via Twitter by a TFTTL reporter why it was taking so long to fix it, a Translink spokesperson noted they were waiting for parts to arrive.
Since the average distance from Earth to the Moon is 384,400 km (238,900 mi), it is expected the escalator will be fixed by Christmas – that is, according to our calculations.
Tales from the Transit Line 