Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
The stench of sweat and booze permeating the SkyTrain this morning, is a clear indication that many commuters celebrated St. Patty’s Day yesterday.
As Mr. Angus would say, if he used public transit, “it smells like a god damn brewery in here.”
Gag.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Weekend Commute:
A commuter got on the wrong bus tonight, because she was too busy texting about dead cats.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
According to our staff reporter on-scene this morning, it is possible, although hard to imagine, to put mascara on without a mirror, while giving directions to a stranger.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
According to two female commuters with unidentifiable accents, one of who has pink hair, beards make people look smarter.
In related news, the girl with the rosy halo tried to do her taxes online, but all of the questions were too confusing.
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion File from the Morning Commute:
Unless you are a little girl under the age of 10, you should never wear white socks with black Mary Janes.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
Recent evidence suggests that no matter how frantically or exasperatedly a young blonde woman looks around a crowded bus, no one is going to move to let her sit down.
Further studies reveal that ‘sitter’s guilt’ – an emotional state evoked in those who get seats on a busy bus – is short lived.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Evening Commute:
According to two out of two 20-year-olds, “old” wine is best – at least they are pretty sure it is.
But since neither one of them could afford a “$500” bottle of vino, they couldn’t be certain.
Tales from the Transit Line
Report from the Morning Commute:
In an attempt to protect his girlfriend from a bullet, a male commuter wrapped himself around his female companion, like a shield, to protect her from the possibly fatal projectile.
After investigating the incident, authorities issued this statement:
“If it looks like your trying to protect your girlfriend from gunfire, as you pin her against the SkyTrain door, you should probably back off a bit on the PDA.”
Some people might also argue, it’s simply too early for that kind of smut.
Tales from the Transit Line
Fashion Files from the Evening Commute:
If you wear a T-shirt that says “I’m not a hipster” and a wreath made of silk flowers on your crown – you are a hipster, and an idiot.
Disclaimer: No offense to anyone under the age of two years, whose parents make them wear silk-flower wreaths on their head.
Tales from the Transit Line
Blessing from the Evening Commute:
May you never get stuck on the bus sitting next to a coughing crackhead.
Namaste.
Tales from the Transit Line 